Seriously sucks. Although I do have to say I have one INCREDIBLE man who is my husband.
DH - who is NOT an emotional guy what.so.ever. stopped by home yesterday...came in and just hugged me for like 5 minutes...barely any words other than letting me literally cry on his shoulder while he hugged me. He had to get back to work, and I knew that...but just little things like that make me know how truly awesome he is...
He took me out for dinner last night and I had two top shelf long island ice teas...and a nice juicy steak. Then I came home and took a hot long bath with a glass of wine. :)
But last night at dinner I just kept saying over and over and over again how much this sucks and he agreed...I asked him how he was feeling and he said, "You know I'm not emotional...but I think you have enough tears for the both of us right now".
This is hurting him just as much as it hurts me.
This just seriously sucks. I even tried being the "strong" one in telling him things could be much worse and to look at the bright side - to which his response was "there is no bright side"...that's not like him. :(
But I do know the following:
1. We HAD the means to even do this in the first place. I have a friend who had to have a full hysterectomy done after 10 YEARS of trying (and never was able to go as far as IVF, as far as I know) - but now her only option is adoption...
2. We HAVE our snowbabies. And we have FOUR of them! I know of a girl who went to our same doc and NONE of her embryos even made it to blast, so none to transfer, and none to freeze.
3. While having to pay even more $$ to do our FET's...the FET's are MUCH cheaper (only $1850 compared to $12,000) and we HAVE the means to do two FET's (which I hope and pray we only need to do 1, of course. :)
4. Yeah that's about it. Otherwise this sucks. this sucks big frickin' ugly donkey balls.
I am home today because I also have an AMAZING supervisor...I went over to her desk yesterday in TEARS because I got the call before I had left. I was hoping to be able to leave work before the doc called, but that didn't happen. But she said I could take today off and that another co-worker will cover for me. I may work from home tomorrow though.
God this fucking sucks. :(
It sucks so hard. It sucks monkey butts. I hate that you have to be here facing this crapola. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt does suck. But I love that you are trying to look at the positives. This is not the end and while it would have been AMAZING for #1 to work, according to my doctor, FETs are actually getting better results than fresh cycles these days. Keep your head up and start looking forward to the next cycle.
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